


tweedledee

by icygrace



Series: Reezy Knows Best [7]
Category: Olympics RPF, Sports RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, Humor/Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, family fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 09:28:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1261336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icygrace/pseuds/icygrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Oliver’s turn to have the rules of parking in cars with boys enforced. Lo is thrilled, Ryan not so much, and Michael is amused. Dads Ryan and Michael who lay down the law and flirt and have fun while doing it.</p><p>“Yeah, ‘cause they’re blind, your dad’s ho–” Ryan shakes his head, not about to be distracted, not even by the Look Michael gives him then. (The get at me look. It’s one of his favorites.) “But you’re –”</p>
            </blockquote>





	tweedledee

_April 2030 – Gainesville, FL_

 

“So I was thinking it might be nice if Dee came over for dinner on Friday.”

 

“For pizza dinner?”

 

Pizza dinner is _sacred_ at their house.

 

They don’t do pizza dinner if anyone’s missing and they take their time with it when they’re all there. That means pizza dinner happens on Sundays instead of Fridays during football season because Lo has to be there early with the cheerleaders. Same if Oliver has an away meet because pizza dinner happens at home.

 

They also don’t invite just _anybody_ to pizza dinner. Yeah, their house is open to family and close friends, but pizza dinner is pizza dinner. The only reason anybody else is welcome at all is tradition. If Devon’s in town. Kyle, too. Charlie doesn’t have a standing invitation because he’s (shudder) Lo’s boyfriend of three months (not that Ryan’s counting); it’s because you can’t tell him and Evan, who’ve come to pizza dinner at least once a month since they could eat solid food, that they’re uninvited.

 

“Wait, who’s Dee?”

 

“Oliver’s girlfriend,” Lo says innocently.

 

“Oliver’s _what_?”

 

“Girlfriend.”

 

“He’s got a girlfriend?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Are you sure?” But before – didn’t Lo say –

 

“One of the JV freshmen told me she thought it was _so cool_ her _best friend’s older sister_ was dating my brother, _oh my gosh!_ ” Lo rolls her eyes.

 

“Rumors?”

 

“I asked Tim in Spanish today and he said he didn’t know.”

 

“I don’t get it.”

 

“Lying like a rug. I knewit, but I couldn’t prove it, so thenI asked Charlie on the way home from school and he, like, can’t lie, so he cracked like –”

 

“An egg?”

 

Lo shakes her head. “Gotta cut down on the clichés.”

 

“What?”

 

“Never mind. Anyway, we need to meet her. It’s the rules. It’s not fair if Oliver gets to break the rules just because he’s a guy. That’s sexist.”

 

He tries not to laugh. Lo’s so been waiting for Oliver’s turn. “But why pizza dinner?”

 

“We’ll all be home.”

 

“We’re all home for dinner every day this week.”

 

“But during the week is the worst. I mean, I’m sure _Dee_ will be free, but I have so much homework and so does Oliver.”

 

“And Dee doesn’t?”

 

Lo rolls her eyes. “She’s not in any classes that actually give a lot of homework. The only reason I even know her is she’s in my gym class and she’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the box.”

 

“That’s not nice.”

 

“What? It’s true.”

 

Lo needs to spend less time with Kristin. “It’s not nice to be judgy.” It also sucks to have people call you dumb, even if you don’t let it get to you because they’re dumb for being judgmental.

 

“But it’s not like with you and –”

 

What the _hell_?

Michael cuts her off, “Lauren Elizabeth, you –”

 

“No, wait! Like before how you guys were talking all about image and how people can say a lot of really mean stuff about you when you’re famous that isn’t true, like about Daddy’s intelligence or your looks or whatever –”

 

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re blind, your dad’s ho–” Ryan shakes his head, not about to be distracted, not even by the Look Michael gives him then. (The _get at me_ look. It’s one of his favorites.) “But you’re –”

 

“Like stuff that’s _not true_. And how they’re dumb anyway, Oliver shouldn’t let that stuff get to him because they even don’t _know_ him?”

 

Michael gives him a different Look now. (This one’s the _easy now_ look. He’s never been a fan, even if it’s usually him giving Michael that one.) “We did say that,” Michael agrees.

 

“Which is why –” Ryan starts.

 

“It’s not like that. This – this is _true_ , Daddy. She’s –”

 

“Stop it,” he interrupts.

 

“Daddy –”

 

“No. Am I gonna have to send you to your room?”

 

Lo sits back and sulks and it’s not going to work on him, because he’s actually kinda pissed.

 

\---

 

Even if Lo was being fucking _mean_ about Oliver’s girl, pizza dinner isn’t actually a bad idea. “It’ll be more chill.”

 

“Is that a good thing?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“The point’s to really test these people.”

 

“False sense of security?”         

 

“True.”

 

“But anyway, like, do we really gotta try so hard this time? Between you and me?”

 

“I mean –”

 

“It’s different with guys, you know?”

 

Michael nods.

 

“Probably won’t last long.”

 

“But speaking of guys . . . didn’t Lo say . . .”

 

“He like definitely blushed, or else I’d say she was fucking with us.”

 

“He has to know we wouldn’t . . . care, though, right? Look at us.”

 

“Maybe he just tried it out because, like, it’s not like we care.”

 

“There’s no . . . stigma. We won’t care as long as like they’re a decent person? I don’t know.”

 

“Maybe we should talk to him?”

 

“He _is_ bringing this girl home to meet us.”

 

“Only ‘cause Satan Jr. told on him.” Ryan wanted to just let it go, go easy on Oliver because Lo deserved it after being like that, but it’d just end up biting them in the ass somehow.

 

“Did you actually just –”

 

“Yeah. I did.”

 

Michael bites his lip but can’t hold in that rumbling laugh Ryan loves so much.

 

\---

 

“Invite Dee for dinner on Friday.”

 

Oliver chokes on his orange juice. “Wait – what – how –” He clears his throat. “So soon?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I’m _really_ looking forward to this.”  Lo smiles angelically (not fooling him, though) and puts down her fork and knife. “Can I invite Charlie?”

 

“No,” he answers at the same time Michael says “maybe” and Oliver says “yeah.”

 

 _Casual_ , Michael mouths from across the table.

 

“Fine, whatever.”

 

\---

 

He really wishes they didn’t let Lo invite Charlie over.

 

He likes Charlie – Charlie used to be his favorite out of the kids’ friends until he snatched their baby girl out from under their fucking noses – but the thing is . . . Michael and Lo have great poker faces, so you’d never know they’re _thisclose_ to busting a gut laughing, but Charlie’s all open and it’s making it really, really hard for Ryan not to laugh.

 

At Dee.

 

Because, like, he messes up his words sometimes when he gets nervous and all, but this is like . . . it’s like if you took all the dumbest shit he’s ever said in his whole life and madeit last a whole dinner and you weren’t doing _any_ of it on purpose _or_ high and never even noticed you sounded dumb.

 

Unless she got so nervous about meeting them she lit up or had a brownie. He probably would if he had to meet them.

 

\---

 

“So what’d you think?” Oliver asks once Dee’s driven home.

 

“She’s . . . nice,” Ryan manages.

 

Michael nods and so does Charlie. Which, like, they should’ve kicked him out by now. This is a _family_ meeting.

 

“Don’t you have a house to go back to?”

 

“Um –”

 

“Do your parents even –”

 

“Daddy, don’t be mean.”

 

No one lets him have any fun anymore.

 

“So we’re good?” Oliver interrupts.

 

Lo raises a hand. “Not yet –”

 

“She’s pretty,” Michael says before Lo can keep talking.

 

“Yeah, definitely.”

 

Charlie doesn’t say a word. Kid knows what’s up.

 

“Whipped,” Ryan coughs into his hand. Hahaha.

 

Lo shoots him one of her scary crazy-eyes death glares she obviously got from _somebody_ on his side. Not that he’s naming fingers or pointing names or whatever. 

 

Michael’s mouth is set – because Scary Spice over there is looking right at him, poor Mike – but his eyes are laughing.

 

Oliver smirks. “Sis?”

 

“Daddy said if I didn’t have something nice to say not to say anything at all.”

 

Whoa, Crazy Eyes actually listened to him. Or it might’ve been how Michael promised, _And I’ll give you fifty dollars_.

 

Ryan swallows the _I mean, maybe you should try and learn something from Chuck over here about good taste and all_ that wants to come out because he’s _nice_.

 

And because Oliver’s a guy who’s clearly not thinking with his (big) brain and he’ll get tired of this girl soon if they just shrug it off. If they make a big deal, he’ll just get stubborn.

 

Like brother, like sister.

 

Like father. Stupid Michael, ruining their perfectly good kids.

 

\---

 

Just to be safe, he stops by Oliver’s room later that night with some . . . important stuff.

 

Oliver doesn’t bat an eye. He rolls both. Then he opens the top drawer of his bedside table, where there’s already an identical box. “Dad beat you to it. Might wanna give those to –” Oliver stops and shudders. “Too far.”

 

Ryan wants to throw up a little. Or run down the street with a knife to make sure it never –“Oliver Wayne. Shut up. Right now. Shut up.”

 

He’d rather everybody keep everything in their pants forever, but he was that age once and yeah, not gonna happen –

 

\---

 

They’re not _totally irresponsible and idiotic_ – Kristin’s words – dads.

 

So even though Lo blushed and swore up and down she didn’t need it and they stuttered stuff about how waiting _until you’re ready_ – _older_ – _would be better_ and the whole thing was just really fucking awkward, they made sure she got birth control just to be safe.

 

Their kids have bright futures ahead of them and they don’t want anything fucking that up.

 

Also maybe because the women in their family are crazy. _Plus it makes your cycle_ – He cut Kristin off and refused to listen no matter how hard she tried to keep torturing him.

 

\---

 

That doesn’t mean he wants to _think_ about it.

 

But he is gonna make sure Oliver doesn’t knock anybodyup, not on their watch. He’s gonna nip that shit in the bud. “Keep ‘em. Just in case. Never know. Yeah.”

 

It really would be easier if Oliver was into – or just into or whatever – guys.

 

Damn it.

 

But Ryan’s done what he can, so the only thing left to do is call it a night and go find _his_ guy.


End file.
